Fellas, have you ever tried comforting someone who has just lost his/her/their loved ones? What do you usually do or say on such occasion?
When someone has just lost someone he/she loves, it is tempting to say something that goes like, “When I lost (insert our loved ones) this is what happened/this is how it went.”
We might think that by saying it, it could help the other person to realise that he/she is not alone. However, a tragedy is a tragedy, whether it happens to us or to someone else. Therefore, refrain from saying something like that as it can be perceived that we are comparing other people’s misery to ours.
We should also avoid saying, “It’s a part of life/it will get better soon/you will feel better soon,” because it could mean that we are trivialising the other person’s loss.
It is also not advisable to ask a grieving person, “Are you okay?” or “How are you feeling?” because of course losing someone we love will never feel okay. This is crucial especially if you are considering to become a journalist who covers the life of famous people.
So what can we do to express our condolences?
Say something that offers sympathy and understanding.
“I’m sorry for the passing of your…”
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
“This must be hard for you.”
“Our sincere sympathy for you and your family.”
Say something that offers help.
“I’m here if you need anything.”
“Take a rest while I take care of everything else.”
Be there for the grieving person.
If it is possible for you to be present, be there for the grieving person. Often a person who has just lost someone he/she loves needs time to process the grief and it is not an easy process. It also doesn’t finish overnight. Be a moral support by ensuring the said person gets enough rest or eat healthy food and try not to exhaust them with the necessity of making a decision.